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He found ten gallons and (lie found ten gallons, )
And stayed all .day. (And stayed all day0)
Oh, the deacon went down in the cellar to pray9.
He found ten gallons and stayed all, day,’
I ain’t gonna grieve my Lord no more, ‘
0h? I ain?t gonna grieve my Lord no more.
I ain’t gonna grieve my ‘Lord no more,-
0h9 you canft go to Heaven tin a Ford coupe.
You’ve got to go rin a Chevrolet. ‘
Oh, you cant go. to Heaven in a submarine,
Cos the Lord don!t like no tinned sardine, "
Oh, You canlt go to Heaven with a bottle of gin9.
Cos the Lord wont let"no spirits in,
Oh you can!t go to Heaven in a sleeping bag,
Cos there ainrt no room for your’wings to wag,-"
Oh, you can’t go to .Heaven on a pair of skisr.
You’ll slide right- past St. Peter’s knees.
You can’t go to Heaven on. roller skates,
You’ 11 roll right past thosp. pearly gates.,
Oh, you cari.t go to-Heaven with A:.N0Ao,,
Cos their old planes don’t fly- that way,
Oh you can’t go to Heaven with a bottle o’ beer,
Cos the Lord’11 say, "No grog in herel"
0h9 you can’ t go to Heaven with chewy on your chin,
You’ll stick to the.gates as you pass in,
Oh, you can’t, -go to Heaven in a feather bed,
Cos you’ll never get up when the prayers are read,
Oh you can’t go to Heaven in a woman’ s .arms ..
Cos St. Pauls decries those feminine charms.
Oh, if you get to Heaven before I do,
Just bore a hole, and.pull me through.
That’s all there is, there ain’t no more,
St. Peter said as he slammed the door.
Where do mothers learn all the things they tell their.
SHAH5S:-‘ IN’ " -TEE’-‘ VBRҐ- ^KBggv.. :CQMBAN.XBS.
(Tune s. "r^My Bonny- lies .over- the -Ocean.’. ); ;
I!Ye shares’ in the’ ver^- best companies. -.
In tfatiiways, tobacco and .fin. —
In brothels :ih Bio: de Janierov .- .. . .;,-■
My God, how the money rolls in.
See how the money’rolls in. rolls inl ;
My God9 how the money, rolls inl.
With wealth in’ the" big German steel-works . r . ..
No wonder I helped Hitler win,’. ■.
For when he supressed -the trades unions,
My father sent’field guns t-o Franco,
My brother raised loans for Berlin,,
My uncle sent scrap.iron to Tokyo,
To make ^ure . the-money rolled in,’
My cousin’s a starting price bookie,
My mother sells-synthetic>gin,
My sister sells js/in-.to the .sailors.
My God9 how the money rolls ‘.in.
My brother’s a curate ‘in Sydney,
He’s saving young girlies from .sin9.
. ."He- 11-‘save you. a blonde for a dollar5 _.
My God9 how the. money rolls in.’
We’ve started an old fashioned gin shop.-.
A regular palace of sin,’
The principal ;girl is my grandma9.
My God, how the–money rolls”in.
"Did you have a good time on your date with the Siamese twins?"
There was a fair young Duchess.
Returning from a ball,
When she chanced to’spy "a tinker9.
A-pissing on the wall.
With his bloody great kidney -wiper-. .’..■
And his balls .the" size-of. three9.
And a yard and a half of foreskin hanging down below his kneess.
. Hanging down . -Indies thick,
Hanging down 000. What a pricki.
So she wrote to him a letter.’ .■..;’
And in "it sKe did’ say, .
I’d rather be fucked by a tinker.
Than a husband any day, .
The tinker got the letter1/’ "
His prick began to quiver.
And his balls began to ”bleed,
He mounted on his charger.
And on it he did ride5.
With his prick along .the saddle, .. .
And his balls on either side.,
He rode up to the castle.
He rode up to the wall,
?!God save usin cried the bmtler.
?tHe comes to do us all„n.
. He-.;rode in through ..the., gateway, . . .
Did the cat upon the ‘stairs’!
On enetering the .boudoire, . <.
Caught the duchess unawares,
He went down to the’kitchen,
‘And ‘fucked "the servants all,
.<. But the way he bummed the butler.
Home is the’only place you can scratch where it "itches.
On the first day of Christmas, my. true love said to me.
One french letter-very filthy.
On the second day of Christmas my true love said to’me.
Two virgin queens,
And a french le’tt.er very filthy..
On the third day of Christmas, my true love said to me.
Three boy scouts,
Two virgin queens,
And a french letter very filthy1.
Four windmill girls . o.
Five choir boys.
Six convicted vicars <,„..
Seven sex-starved sisters . ‘..
Eight useless eunuchs . . . . ‘
Nine naughty nymphs.
Ten tired trollops . 0 < –
Eleven lecherous lesbi.ans.
Twelve twitching twats . . . .
CASTRATED DINOSAURS – A collosal fossil with a docile tossil.
DACHSHUNDS A lowdown son of a bitch. . ..’.
LOUSY BASTARD; One who sits and scratches himself while his.
father and mo’ther are being .married,
ANGELs A female spirit who :spends -most of her time wishing she.
could’trade her harp-for an upright organ,
MASTURBATIONS A solo played on a private organ.
QUEENs A man who likes his vice versa.
THE ARMY IATRINE .
My job is to clean and army latrine.-
I’m the man with the plan for the pan that everyone’uses,
The paperTs OK, on both sides the news is9.
AllTs perfectly clean in my- arn&y latrine’, . . ■ =■ .

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