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presages snow, that minces virtue and does shake.
the head to hear of pleasure’s name. The fitchew.
nor the soiled horse goes to ’t with a more riotous.
appetite. Down from the waist they are centaurs, 140.
though women all above. But to the girdle do the.
gods inherit; beneath is all the fiend’s. There’s hell,
there’s darkness, there is the sulphurous pit; burning,
scalding, stench, consumption! Fie, fie, fie, pah,
pah! Give me an ounce of civet, good apothecary; 145.
sweeten my imagination. There’s money for thee.
Gloucester recognizes Lear’s voice and asks if it’s the King he hears. Lear answers him with a rant about sex and how there should be more of it in the world, especially considering that Gloucester’s son Edmund, conceived out of wedlock, proved much kinder than Lear’s daughters, who were conceived legitimately. (He’s a little behind on his facts, but hey—he’s mad, what do you expect?) He goes on to say that women often appear virtuous, but from the waist down they do the Devil’s work. 
GLOUCESTER O, let me kiss that hand!
LEAR Let me wipe it first; it smells of mortality.
O ruined piece of nature! This great world.
Shall so wear out to naught. Dost thou know me? 150.
LEAR I remember thine eyes well enough. Dost thou.
squinny at me? No, do thy worst, blind Cupid, I’ll.
not love. Read thou this challenge. Mark but the.
Were all thy letters suns, I could not see. 155.
I would not take this from report. It is,
And my heart breaks at it.
Gloucester asks Lear if he recognizes him and Lear says his eyes are familiar. (Ouch.) He then addresses Gloucester as Cupid, who was often presented as blind. Edgar and Gloucester are both horrified at Lear’s transformation, and Edgar says he wouldn’t believe Lear had gotten this bad if he weren’t witnessing it for himself.
GLOUCESTER What, with the case of eyes?
LEAR O ho, are you there with me? No eyes in your 160.
head, nor no money in your purse? Your eyes are in.
a heavy case, your purse in a light, yet you see how.
this world goes.
GLOUCESTER I see it feelingly.
LEAR What, art mad? A man may see how this world 165.
goes with no eyes. Look with thine ears. See how.
yond justice rails upon yond simple thief. Hark in.
thine ear. Change places and, handy-dandy, which.
is the justice, which is the thief? Thou hast seen a.
farmer’s dog bark at a beggar? 170.
LEAR And the creature run from the cur? There thou.
might’st behold the great image of authority: a.
dog’s obeyed in office.
Thou rascal beadle, hold thy bloody hand! 175.
Why dost thou lash that whore? Strip thy own back.
Thou hotly lusts to use her in that kind.
For which thou whipp’st her. The usurer hangs the.
Through tattered clothes small vices do appear. 180.
Robes and furred gowns hide all. Plate sin with.
And the strong lance of justice hurtless breaks.
Arm it in rags, a pygmy’s straw does pierce it.
None does offend, none, I say, none; I’ll able ’em. 185.
Take that of me, my friend, who have the power.
To seal th’ accuser’s lips. Get thee glass eyes,
And like a scurvy politician.
Seem to see the things thou dost not. Now, now,
Pull off my boots. Harder, harder. So.
O, matter and impertinency mixed,
Reason in madness!
Lear rants that justice is a sham and you don’t need eyes to see that. He says there’s no real difference between the thief and the judge who sentences him, or between the prostitute and the officer who whips a prostitute’s back for her crimes, when really he’d like to commit those crimes with her.
If thou wilt weep my fortunes, take my eyes.
I know thee well enough; thy name is Gloucester. 195.
Thou must be patient. We came crying hither;
Thou know’st the first time that we smell the air.
We wawl and cry. I will preach to thee. Mark.
GLOUCESTER Alack, alack the day!
When we are born, we cry that we are come 200.
To this great stage of fools.—This’ a good block.
It were a delicate stratagem to shoe.
A troop of horse with felt. I’ll put ’t in proof,
And when I have stol’n upon these son-in-laws,
Then kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill! 205.
Gloucester starts sobbing, and his grief brings Lear back to his senses for a minute. He tells Gloucester of course he recognizes him and says it’s natural to cry when you see the world for the first time, like a newborn. (The idea is that babies cry when they’re born, and men cry again later when they realize the truth of the world.) Then Lear slips back to crazy town, telling Gloucester he likes his hat (“good block,”) and that if he made horseshoes for his horses out of the same felt used in Gloucester’s hat, he’d be able to sneak up on his sons-in-law and kill them. 
Enter a Gentleman and Attendants.
O, here he is.  To an Attendant.  Lay hand upon.
Your most dear daughter—
A Gentleman arrives and tells one of his attendants to take hold of Lear. They say they’ve come from his daughter, but it’s not immediately clear which one.
No rescue? What, a prisoner? I am even.
The natural fool of Fortune. Use me well. 210.
You shall have ransom. Let me have surgeons;
I am cut to th’ brains.

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